A camping chair designer has unveiled a new design after almost three years of gruelling work.

The chair was first shown at the Outdoor Equipment Show in Birmingham on Wednesday, where visitors were able to sit in it and have a look.

Designer Martin Hash said the project “certainly wasn’t a walk in the park.”

“There were times when I wondered whether I’d crack it,” he said. “But eventually it just came together.”

The chair folds into a small bag for carrying, although getting it back in has proved difficult.

“It’s still a bit of a bastard to get back in,” said Hash.

The chair will go on sale next spring.

Five people have died following an incident at a contemporary restaurant in Surrey, police have confirmed.

Emergency services were called to the premises shortly after 8pm on Tuesday following reports of an outbreak of hysteria among several diners.

The incident began when a diner noticed that the restaurant’s menu was closer to one edge than the other.

“It was about six or seven millimetres to the left,” said one witness. “At first I thought it was just my menu. I was feeling light-headed, then my partner vomited.”

Five people are confirmed dead, while 20 other diners are believed to be in serious condition.

The Daily Pyre understands the restaurant has since closed while the menus are removed and replaced.

Circa 640 CE, a Chinese confectioner appears to have made the first known sour sweets.

A stone tablet discovered near the ancient city of Chang’an describes a recipe involving sugar and fermented plum juice, which would have made a treat that was extremely sour.

It is evident that the idea caught on, with Flying Saucers, Toxic Waste and Sherbet Lemons among the sweets believed to have been first produced in the period.

“The Tang people were quite fond of them,” said Professor Wei Zhang of the Institute of Ancient Gastronomic Sciences.

The discovery may also explain some of the unusual expressions found in early Chinese artwork.

A man with an additional lower appendage has been left with a difficult footwear problem after missing out on a limited-edition release.

The shoes sold out shortly after he bought his pair online, leaving him unable to get hold of a third.

He has been writing to shoe companies for years asking them to consider customers with more than two feet, but the industry has taken no steps to address the situation.

“I’m not asking for special treatment,” he said. “I just want the option.”

The man admitted he usually buys two pairs, but said it slipped his mind on this occasion. He reportedly raised his additional leg to our reporter in frustration, kicking himself in the face. Embarrassed, he insisted “I don’t need four shoes”.

The issue is complicated by the fact that his additional appendage has more of a stump than a foot and changes shape depending on his mood.

“It was working perfectly before,” said David, 41. “I had it going while she was upstairs.”

His wife, Sarah, came outside and it all went sideways. “I only wanted to be moral support.” she said.

The man attempted several further starts, using firelighters, moving the charcoal and eventually waving pieces of cardboard at the barbecue.

The couple eventually ate indoors.

A spider living under the passenger’s seat inside a family car has reportedly grown accustomed to “seeing a bit of the world”.

“Each day I don’t know where we’re going,” it said. “That’s part of the fun.”

The family, who were unaware they had been taking the spider with them, later discovered it while looking for a dropped parking ticket.

The Daily Pyre has since made several attempts to contact the spider.

A new study has ranked eggs ahead of supermarkets, farms and butchers as the most effective source of chicken.

Researchers behind the findings said the process was surprisingly straightforward.

“Eggs are basically raw chicken,” said lead researcher Dr. Ferguson. “Leave one alone for long enough, add a bit of heat, and you end up with chicken. It's mad."

The UK Government’s summer hosepipe ban has had the unintended effect of reminding millions of people they own a hose.

“I hadn’t used mine in years,” said Darren Price, 38. “It’s like trying not to vape. The second someone mentions it, that’s all you want to do.”

Jim Henshaw, 41, also admitted he’d used his hose several times since the restrictions began, although insisted they were only “a few quick ones”.

Social psychologist Dr Elaine Morris said future bans may be more effective if the Government simply avoided mentioning them altogether.

Oliver Grant, 16, had expected a garden centre interview to focus more on his badge achievements.

The former Scout had listed first aid, fire lighting, crafts, camping and advanced knots on his application.

“I thought the badges held real value.” he said. “There were ceremonies. Akela even shook my hand in front of everyone.”

The interview reportedly changed tone when staff asked whether he had ever used a till.

Oliver explained they completely looked past his ability to make a bird feeder from lolly sticks, “as if it didn’t mean anything.”

The garden centre later confirmed it was looking for someone with at least three years’ till experience.

Oliver’s mother, June, said she had tried to warn him.

“I told him to focus more on school, or volunteer work” she said. “But he kept coming home with more badges.”

A report of a “cheesemonger” sighting near a dairy outside Cheshire has reignited debate over whether the supposed figures exist.

The witness claims to have seen a man-like shape standing behind a counter surrounded by different cheeses, before asking if they could “help with anything”.

“This follows a regular pattern,” said cryptozoologist Dr Alan Johnson. “Someone sees something vaguely human near a large amount of cheese and suddenly we’re meant to believe they live among us.”

Enthusiasts across the world insist the cheesy apes, known for making cheese in large caves are real and claim they have extensive knowledge of lost recipes.

The Daily Pyre’s expert critic remains unconvinced.

“Then why has nobody ever been able to catch one?” asked Johnson

A man who inherited a disused nuclear bunker has attempted to cash in on Lord of the Rings fandom by reopening it as an unofficial Hobbiton experience.

The site, now advertised as ‘Bag End’, features varnished round doors, whimsical music and a small gift shop.

Owner Gary Fletcher said he had done “what he could with the space”.

“It’s underground, for a start,” he said. “That’s not nothing.”

Visitors have criticised the experience as “deeply disappointing”, although several admitted they felt bad leaving negative reviews.

“He’s clearly tried,” said one. “I just don’t know what I was supposed to be looking at. The room was filled with Dr Pepper cans and the main attraction was a tin foil sword.”

When The Daily Pyre reached out for comment, Fletcher said plans were underway to hire a wizard.

A Cardiff woman who reported being unable to see anything has since confirmed both her eyes were closed.

“I didn’t know what happened,” she explained. “It all happened so quickly.”

Witnesses say the phenomenon lasted for several seconds before she attempted opening her eyes again.

Optometrist Dr Rachel Moore said the incident, while undoubtedly scary, was “consistent with how eyes work.”

The Daily Pyre understands visibility was restored soon after.

The decision to take Margaret home was made shortly after dessert, when she stared at her grandson’s new school photo for several seconds and asked whether he was “one of ours.”

Family members assumed the 84-year-old was exhausted after a long meal, during which she had spoken only to ask for the salt and claim the turkey was “too dry.”

“She seemed tired,” said daughter Hayley Price, after gently helping her into the car.

However, Margaret later said she had been unfortunately fully awake throughout the evening and found her family “boring beyond belief.”

The misunderstanding deepened when she closed her eyes during a story about a school play she had heard several times before. Relatives mistook this for needing rest, rather than “waiting for it to end.”

Margaret later confirmed she had no strong feelings about leaving early, adding that the grandchildren were “probably old enough now to fend for themselves.”

Her family said they hoped she would feel better after a good night’s sleep.

The Daily Pyre understands Margaret headed straight to Betfred as soon as the coast was clear.

The British Dental Association said teeth were still “one of the better options” for chewing and smiling.

“They’re not perfect,” said dentist Dr. Caroline Russell. “They stain, chip, ache, move around and can betray you without warning. But on balance, we remain pro-teeth.”

The review considered several alternatives, including dentures and going ‘full gum’.

Russell added that while teeth can be expensive and difficult to maintain, not having them tends to present “a different set of problems.”

A side salad has accused a local restaurant of “never seeing its true potential” after years of being advertised and ordered as a side.

The salad, which described itself as “a Mediterranean affair” of mixed leaves, shredded carrot, cucumber, cherry tomatoes and vinaigrette, said it had done everything asked of it, but had constantly been overlooked.

“I’m fresh, colourful and properly dressed,” it explained. “There is enough of me. I could easily be a whole meal.”

Restaurant owner Michael Gordan disagreed, saying the salad “simply didn’t have the calories” to carry an evening.

“He could throw in a few croutons if he wanted,” Gordan said. “But he isn’t fooling anyone.”

The Daily Pyre understands the head chef has since parted ways with the salad, citing “creative differences.”

By lunchtime, the hole was still nowhere near deep enough.

Oscar Bennett, 6, had begun the beach excavation with a clear plan involving a tunnel and a moat, which was to be filled with buckets of seawater.

However, sources close to the project said progress had been repeatedly undermined by his grandfather, who kept suggesting the hole was “quite big now.”

“He didn’t understand the vision,” Oscar said. “He was just moving sand around.”

The project suffered a further setback when his grandfather asked whether anyone wanted an ice cream, despite the hole requiring urgent work on the left side.

Oscar also criticised his grandfather for repeatedly sitting down, walking off to “find things” and acting as though the tide coming in was somehow relevant.

“I knew what he was doing,” Oscar said. “Trying to make it look like he was working.”

Oscar has since confirmed he completed the project alone after lunch, and said the incident had changed how he viewed his grandfather.

“He seemed like a decent bloke at first,” he said. “But I wouldn’t hire him. Weak effort from that man.”

There are few contemporary sights in dance as quietly arresting as a hundred and thirty-seven prawns moving as one beneath a low blue light.

Prawn Ballet returns to the London Aquarium this September. Now entering its fourth year, the production has become one of the more controversial fixtures in the capital’s dance calendar.

Artistic director Marcel Fenderson said this year’s work has “less movement, but more feeling”, a claim that will be tested during a 14-minute opening sequence in which the company remains largely near the water filter.

Critics have previously praised the production for its restraint, although one reviewer admitted it was “hard to see, as the tank is so far away from the seats.”

Fenderson rejects any ‘human-based’ criticism stating, “You have to stop expecting, and get into the mind of the prawn. A lot of the work is in the antennae.”

The new programme includes a reworked closing sequence, in which the ensemble pirouettes around a pebble for twelve minutes.

By the time the candles came out at a soft play centre in Laindon, Essex, the nation’s favourite novelty cake had already done 112 birthdays that week.

The cake, who asked not to be named for contractual reasons, said children’s parties were the hardest part of the job.

“They fight over who gets the head,” he said. “That’s my head.”

He said children’s parties were too warm, too loud and badly sung. There was almost always a kid with a dirty finger in the icing, too.

Friends say the cake has been drinking more heavily between appearances and sometimes refuses to come out of the box until the last moment.

“At first I thought each one mattered,” he said. “Then you do enough of them and realise it’s just something people get for staying alive another year.”

His manager denied the cake was being overworked, insisting he remained “Britain’s leading edible celebration figure” and was contractually available for birthdays, exam results and special occasions.

Sources close to the cake said things took a downturn after his 10,000th celebration.

“I used to think I was bringing people joy,” the cake said. “Now, when they start singing, I just wait for the lights to go out.”

A hamster living in a cage has raised concerns about the man who feeds him.

Peanut, who spends much of his free time running on a wheel, said his owner’s daily routine is “seriously worrying.”

“He commutes to work, goes to the gym, gets home when it’s dark, then eats a powdered protein mixture while standing near the fridge,” Peanut said. “He could do anything with his life. Why choose this?”

The hamster has tried to get his owner to stop doomscrolling, drinking heavily, masturbating, and crying at his reflection, but it’s “like talking to a brick wall,” he said.

“I’ve become more grateful for the life I have,” Peanut claimed, citing a whole food diet, the cat passing away last year, and several hours a day to “do whatever I want.”

“I used to think I was trapped,” he added, stuffing a sunflower seed deeper into his cheek cavity. “Now I feel quite lucky.”

Transport officials first raised concerns after repeated resurfacing work failed to improve what they described as “redness, flaking and irritation around London.”

The M25, long assumed to be a motorway, has now been discovered to be ringworm, a fungal infection known medically as tinea corporis.

The discovery means millions of drivers may have spent decades commuting on a circular rash by mistake.

Dermatologists said the symptoms were consistent with ringworm, despite the affected area containing four lanes, service stations and several miles of stationary traffic.

“The redness, the irritation and the persistent flare-ups are all fairly typical,” one dermatologist said. “The Heathrow section is particularly angry.”

The Mayor of London said the diagnosis was “deeply concerning” and promised to begin applying cream as soon as officials found “a large enough tube.”

Drivers have been advised to avoid unnecessary contact with the affected area and wash their hands thoroughly after using service stations.

Thousands of historic speeding fines and traffic enforcement notices may now be waived, due to the M25 not being a road.