ISS Falls from Orbit After Rise in Obese Children Adds to Earth's Gravitational Pull
The International Space Station has unexpectedly fallen from orbit after scientists concluded the recent rise in childhood obesity had marginally increased Earth’s gravitational pull.
NASA confirmed no astronauts were harmed.
Researchers stressed the effect was “tiny”, but admitted it was apparently “just enough.”
“We initially blamed solar activity,” explained Professor Helen Morris. “Then we looked at the numbers and realised Earth had become ever so slightly... earthier.”
NASA said the station’s orbit had been stable for decades before engineers noticed what they described as “a persistent downward preference.”
The findings have been criticised by physicists, who argue the theory ignores several fundamental laws of gravity.
Professor Morris dismissed the criticism.
“We’re not saying it’s the only factor,” she said. “Just that it didn’t help.”
The Daily Pyre understands scientists are now keeping a close eye on both Christmas and Easter.