Rescued Bird Would Have Preferred Quick Death
Describing the ordeal as "draining", Buddy, the as-yet unidentified bird currently being cared for by a family in Romford, Essex, said he was initially grateful for the intervention.
"I thought they'd patch me up, give me a bit of seed and send me on my way," he explained. "Instead it's been three days of Love Island, children trying to stroke me and saying 'he's definitely smiling' every fifteen minutes."
The family insist Buddy has made remarkable progress, pointing to the fact he is now eating independently and attempting short flights around the living room.
Buddy disputes this.
"I wasn't trying to fly. I was trying to leave."
Asked whether he appreciated the kindness shown by the family, Buddy paused.
"They mean well. I just think there are worse things than dying. Living in a semi-detached house in Romford might be one of them."
The family have confirmed they intend to release Buddy back into the wild once he has fully recovered.
Buddy described the news as "encouraging", before adding that, having now experienced both worlds, he was "not especially optimistic about either."



Haha, this one's really funny, love the deadpan "interview with a bird" format. "I wasn't trying to fly, I was trying to leave" made me laugh. Great dry humor, simple idea, executed really well.