Volunteer Litter Picker Overestimates His Impact on 'Maintaining Functioning Society'
A volunteer litter picker from Dorset has admitted he increasingly sees himself as “one of the last people keeping this country together.”
Paul Henderson, 53, spends around two hours each Sunday collecting crisp packets, drinks cans and the occasional vape from his local park.
“It’s not about recognition,” he explained. “It’s just nice knowing civilisation would probably collapse without people like me.”
Henderson believes the general public has become “remarkably dependent” on his efforts, despite covering roughly 0.004% of the town each week.
“I don’t like to think about what would happen if I took a weekend off.”
Friends say Henderson has recently begun referring to litter picking as “public service”, while quietly shaking his head whenever he passes someone who drops as much as a receipt.
The Daily Pyre understands Henderson returned home shortly afterwards to find his own recycling had blown across the driveway.